In the last 5 or so years, the definition of eloping has vastly shifted to something WAY cooler than secretly running away to Las Vegas to get married in front of Elvis without your family. Even though you could still do that, I think everyone agrees the new kind of eloping is so much more personal and filled with joy (and leaves out a lot of stress!).

If you take a second to think about a traditional wedding, you probably think of a venue, 100+ guests, a ceremony with seating, dinner and drinks for everyone, wedding favors, a wedding party, and so many more things. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with any of those traditions, but they’re not for everyone! And as it turns out, those traditions wind up being THE most expensive parts of weddings. I’m talking $30-50k to throw a party for your friends and family. If that’s the route you wanna go, more power to you!

But I’m pretty sure you’ve found this post because you’re thinking about eloping OR you’ve already made the decision to elope, but you still aren’t sure who to invite, if you should elope alone, or how to land somewhere in the middle of those two options. And I’m here to walk you through some spectacular ways to include your friends and family who either 1. Couldn’t make it to your destination elopement, or 2. Weren’t invited to your elopement (it’s a very privileged guest list!).

Choosing to elope by yourselves is a HUGE decision, and sometimes it’s super easy and all you’ve ever dreamed of. But for some couples, it’s going to be SO hard to get married to their favorite person without their other favorite people there like parents, besties, siblings, and other loved ones. And that’s why I’m here! To show you how to bridge that gap and include your friends and family in your elopement without them being physically present.

Some reasons you might elope without any guests:

The logistics of just you two traveling and getting married is already just enough work, and adding other people isn’t going to make it any less stressful!
You want to start a brand new chapter of your life with your boo, and ONLY your boo.
Your family has been pressuring you to have a massive, traditional wedding and it’s weighing you down SO much that you decide to go in the complete opposite direction. It’s not selfish, even if someone suggests it is. It’s your day, baby.
The idea of bearing your soul to your partner in front of any people (even your closest besties) is mortifying and you just aren’t into the idea of it being a small performance. I feel you on this one, getting up in front of people can feel like work!
You’ve been dreaming of an incredible location to say your vows at, but it’s no logistically feasible for guests to join you, whether that’s because it’s a long drive, challenging hike, expensive flight, or it’s just not financially practical to ask people to plan a whole vacation around your wedding. And that’s okay!

Whether it’s more than one of these reasons or a reason you have of your own, eloping is valid, incredible, freeing, and a way to take back your wedding day and say “HEY, WE’RE THE ONES GETTING MARRIED, THIS IS ABOUT US.” I fully support writing this on your mirror as a daily affirmation.

There are still PLENTY of ways you can include the people who won’t be physically present on your elopement day so that they feel understood, welcomed, and like they’re a part of something important to you. I promise!

Ways to include your friends and family in your elopement without being present:

Here are seven fun ways to make your loved ones feel seen and heard when they hear you’re going to elope!

Record your ceremony and/or vows on your phone

It’s easy enough to record a video or audio message while each of you read your vows to each other. If you’re not hiring a videographer, I’d recommend buying an inexpensive phone tripod and recording your elopement even if it’s just for you to keep! That way you can edit the video, upload it, and share it with anyone you want so they can feel like they were there with you.

If you’re eloping somewhere that you know is going to have great service, you could even set up a Zoom or FaceTime to include some guests live!

Ask your loved ones to write letters to you to read together on your elopement day

They can be short and to the point with words of love and encouragement, or they can be similar to what a toast would be like at a wedding reception with stories, inside jokes, or fun things like photos or doodles. Collect all of the physical copies in the weeks leading up to your elopement, and don’t forget to pack them!

Create a group chat or discord server

You’ll be able to announce that you’re eloping, share details of the day and what you plan to do, and keep everyone in the loop. Plus as you get closer to the day, you can share fun details like what shoes you’re wearing, photos of the trip to your destination, and selfies on your elopement day! Discord can be a little confusing, so here’s a tutorial that breaks it down 🙂

Call your favorite people after the events of your elopement day

Tell them the story, show off your outfits, let them get in on the elopement day buzz!! They’ll be able to feel your energy and excitement through the phone, and they’ll immediately feel included that you chose to spend part of your elopement day talking to them.

Have your loved ones record digital toasts for you to watch together

Not a fan of carrying around letters? This one’s for you! Ask your loved ones to record a video of them toasting to you, whether it’s a short speech, a bevvy in hand, or just a quick video of them saying they love you, leave it up to them what they share. Pro tip: ask a friend to be the point person for this one, and if they’re tech savvy, they could string the videos together so you can watch it like a movie!

Share your elopement day photo gallery

You’ll be getting back photos from me SUPER quickly (in the first week!), and you can absolutely share the gallery with anyone you like. They can scroll through the day and feel like they were there with you or even download the photos to share with their work friends or neighbors! If you really want to impress them, sit down with them and show them the gallery in person when you’re home after your elopement on a huge screen to give them the full effect. Then you can share stories, point out small details, and really drive home that you love them.

Send a “we eloped!” announcement

If you’re keeping your elopement day on the down low, consider sending out a formal announcement (with one of your amazing elopement photos, obviously) to share the details with them! You can hand write a note to each person to share a recap of the day or just let them know it was important they were included in the day, even just in a small way.

Are you feeling a little bit better about eloping without any guests? I’d be willing to bet you are. It can be a difficult conversation to let the most important people in your life know that you’d like to get married totally privately, but approach it with kindness and with a few ideas plotted out so they can still feel like a part of your wedding day. They’re just trying to show you love, and I’m sure you’re trying to show them the same love, too!