Creating The Perfect Elopement Ceremony Script Without an Officiant

client education
Written By Van Gachnang

So you’ve made the decision to elope with just the two of you. Hell yeah friend!! Now, what about the ceremony? Who needs an officiant when you can rock your own elopement script? In this guide, I'll break down the steps to create a laid-back, totally you, and officiant-free ceremony that screams "us."

5 steps to brainstorming what your elopement ceremony might look like

Step 1:

Discuss your ceremony vibe together! What style are you aiming for? Whether it’s care-free and silly or more structured and to the point, get on the same page before anything else.

Step 2:

Decide what elements you want to include in your ceremony script. No officiant means no rulebook! But a lot of couples will lean towards doing a few traditional things that really make it feel like a wedding, such as:

  • An intro: This could be a prompt to stop what you’re doing, take in your surroundings, and breathe. Or you could welcome each other to your elopement ceremony (or your dog!!).

  • Vows: The good stuff! Personalize these bad boys to make 'em uniquely yours.

  • Rings: If you plan to exchange rings, what do you want that step to look like? No wrong answers here!

  • Declaration of intent: Tell each other that you’re up for this wild ride and ask the other person if they are, too.

  • Pronouncement: The magic words that make it official!

  • Wrap things up: A way to end your ceremony that marks it as DONE! Most couples will kiss, but you don’t have to leave it at that.

(See more ideas and suggestions for each of these elements below)

Step 3:

Pour your heart into your vows! Share stories, inside jokes, and promises you'll actually keep. Go on, get mushy – it's your day! I’ve seen couples put photos in their vow book to share with their partner during the ceremony. Handwritten, typed up and printed out, and straight from your phone are all solid options.

Step 4:

Figure out the flow. Your ceremony, your order! Start with a “hey, you ready to do this?!”, swap rings, declare your love, and bam - you’re married! Make it flow like a Spotify playlist, just with more “I do’s.”

Step 5:

Practice makes perfect. Don’t be shy!! Rehearse this with your partner. You don’t have to read your vows to each other during your practice run, but do a run through of the script to make sure it feels right. And if you stumble a bit, who cares? It’s all part of the fun.

Get creative!

Get inspired! Ideas for each part of your ceremony

Now that we’ve got an overview of the steps to creating an elopement ceremony without an officiant, let’s get into some details! You get to be creative during this part, so I’ve got some inspo for you here.

Intro:

  • Slow down and savor your final moments of not being married

  • Sit with each other and take in the views

  • Give your dog some lovin’ to make them feel included

  • Share a quote or reading that means a lot to you

  • Kiss (because you totally can kiss anytime during an elopement, not just at the end)

Vows:

  • Highly, highly recommend starting these at least a couple of weeks before your big day. Even if you just jot down things you want to say in a note and piece it all together later, you’ll thank yourselves for starting early.

  • Talk about a favorite memory between the two of you or something that always makes them laugh

  • Tell your partner what you adore about them, whether it’s their personality, their quirks, or an inside joke between the two of you, make sure they know they’re loved

  • Make promises that you plan to keep

  • Be sure to slow down and read thoughtfully, mean what you say, and stop to look up at them

  • These can be a few lines or a few minutes! Check in with your partner as you’re writing them (ahead of time, right?) and try to roughly match each other’s length.

Rings:

  • Individual ring boxes that you keep in a pocket or set near your ceremony site until they’re needed

  • Keep the rings in someone’s pocket

  • Tie both rings to your dog’s collar to include them

  • Share one ring box (like this cool glass one!)

  • If you’re having guests, designate one or two people to hang on to the rings until the ceremony.

  • Send both rings around to every guest - this is called a ring warming!

Declaration of intent:

This is one that a lot of couples aren’t sure about! A declaration of intent is when you formally say that you take your partner for life. Old school verbiage is something along the lines of “X, do you take X to be your wife/husband/partner/spouse, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health” etc. But because it’s just the two of you, you’ll be asking each other directly! AND you can share any kind of promises or support in this part, it doesn’t have to be traditional. “X, do you take me to be your wife/husband/partner/spouse, through thick and thin, in the great times and in the not-so-great times” etc. See example scripts below!

Pronouncement and kiss:

  • A simple “we’re married!!!” is perfect! Followed by a smooch, of course.

  • “Ready to do this?!” ANDDDDD… kiss!

  • Kiss and pop champagne (with glasses at the ready)

  • Kiss and put on your favorite song to dance to - a slow, meaningful song like a first dance OR your fave song to scream together

Elopement ceremony script example - no officiant, no guests

Intro:

Take a deep breath together while holding hands. Look all around you and take in the moment together. Point out things that catch your eye. Look at each other for as long as you like.

Partner 1: “Are you ready to do this with me?”

Partner 2: “HELL YEAH I AM”

Vows:

Partner 1: Read personal vows

Partner 2: Read personal vows

Rings:

Place each ring on your partner’s left ring finger.

Declaration of intent:

Partner 1: “X, do you take me to be your wife/husband/partner/spouse? Do you promise to love and adore me? To share your life and your dreams with me? Share the good times and achievements as well as the hard times and disappointments with me? To keep me in sickness and in sorrow, in health and in joy, and be loyal to me from here on out?”

Partner 2: “I do! “X, do you take me to be your wife/husband/partner/spouse? Do you promise to love and adore me? To share your life and your dreams with me? Share the good times and achievements as well as the hard times and disappointments with me? To keep me in sickness and in sorrow, in health and in joy, and be loyal to me from here on out?”

Partner 1: “I do!”

Pronouncement and kiss:

Partner 1 and 2: “Ready to do this with me?” Seal your ceremony with a kiss!

Elopement ceremony script example - no officiant, with guests

Intro:

Hold hands and face each other. Deep breath!

Partner 1 or 2: “Thank you all for making the journey here with us. We couldn’t see ourselves doing this without you here, and we’re so grateful you get to witness this chapter of our lives beginning.”

Vows:

Partner 1: Read personal vows

Partner 2: Read personal vows

Rings:

Loved one takes rings and passes them around to each guest, where they can hold the rings in their hands for a few moments before passing them on. Then hand each ring off to Partner 1 and Partner 2 to exchange and place on their left ring finger.

Declaration of intent:

Partner 1: “X, do you take me to be your wife/husband/partner/spouse? Do you promise to love me through thick and thin, to play together and laugh together, to fill my heart and feed my soul? To always seek out the best in me? To always give me your unwavering support and above all else, the freedom to be myself?”

Partner 2: “I do! “X, do you take me to be your wife/husband/partner/spouse? Do you promise to love me through thick and thin, to play together and laugh together, to fill my heart and feed my soul? To always seek out the best in me? To always give me your unwavering support and above all else, the freedom to be myself?”

Partner 1: “I do!”

Pronouncement and kiss:

Partner 1 and 2: “Let’s do this!” Seal your ceremony with a kiss, followed by a hug from each guest or pop some streamers while you walk back down the “aisle” together, hand in hand.

Other ceremony traditions

You could go with the standard elopement ceremony parts that I just showed you, but you could also add something meaningful into the middle of the ceremony that really feels like YOU.

Traditional weddings call this a unity ceremony and could be anything from pouring sand to lighting a candle, but what if I told you it doesn’t have to be something that you’d see at a traditional wedding?

Unity ceremony ideas:

  • Handfasting - a Celtic tradition that binds you together with cord, ribbon, or rope

  • Do a shot! Whether you have your own flasks or bring shot glasses with, pick your favorite drink and go for it

  • Play a song for your new spouse - bring a guitar and sing to them or sing together

  • Exchange gifts

  • Have guests not in attendance send you videos to watch or letters to read through that offer support, advice, and encouragement

  • Take a selfie - yep, even if your photographer is there taking photos, there’s nothing quite like the first selfie as a married couple!

  • Create an anniversary box - this is a box that you’ll seal letters for your future selves in, plus something like wine, photos, or other keepsakes. Then shut it and open on your first wedding anniversary!

  • Smoke a joint together - check with local regulations to ensure it’s permitted. Most national parks don’t allow marijuana use within park boundaries, even if it’s legal in the state you’re eloping in.

or hire an officiant to take over the ceremony planning!

If you’ve read through this and realized it feels like too much or that you can’t seem to get it just right, hire a pro. They’ll typically get to know you as a couple and learn about your relationship, figure out what kind of ceremony vibe you’re going for, write up a script for you to approve, give tips on writing your own vows, and so much more.

Some officiants that will do an amazing job:

Crafting your elopement script without an officiant is like creating a mixtape of your love story. So, be yourselves, have fun with it, and make it a day you'll remember forever. No officiant, no problem – just you, your love, and an epic ceremony that's all yours. Cheers to the perfect DIY elopement!

Van Gachnang http://vangachnang.com
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