If you’ve decided that you want to elope by yourselves rather than throw a traditional, large wedding that is basically a giant party for everyone you know, don’t even think for a second it was a mistake. Sometimes it’s a hard decision to make, but sometimes it makes sense right off the bat!

I might be the first to tell you this, but it’s important, so listen up:

You Have FulL Permission to plan your elopement however the hell you want

Even if it’s not how everyone else wants to get married, your decision is valid. I’m here to be your biggest supporter!!

But if we’re being real, friends and family could feel hurt or excluded by your decision, but I’m here to tell you that it’s not selfish to elope by yourselves. I’m serious! This wedding is for you: it’s the start of a new chapter in your legacy and it’s about your love as a couple.

And while there’s absolutely nothing wrong with inviting your favorite people to be there when you elope, there are plenty of reasons why you might want to keep it to just the two of you.

Reasons why you should elope alone:

You want to prioritize YOUR happiness and your desires as a couple
You’re interested in doing an elopement day activity that your closest loved ones won’t be interested or capable of doing with you (like backpacking overnight or canoeing to a private shoreline!)
You want the flexibility of being able to do whatever you want on your elopement day without worrying about how other guests will enjoy it or how they will logistically join in
You have a love for the outdoors and couldn’t see yourselves getting married in a venue that holds 50-300+ people
You want to slow down and savor your wedding day instead of letting it fly by in a whirlwind. Most traditional wedding days happen in a flash because there’s so much going on, and many couples have a hard time being present!
You want to combine your elopement and honeymoon into one general location - you could elope in Washington and spend a couple of weeks in the PNW or then start a road trip down the West Coast to hit some national parks!
You aren’t a big fan of speaking in front of or being in front of people, even if it’s only a few. Having the attention on you all day can feel draining, overstimulating, or flat out uncomfortbale.
You don’t want to pay for all the things you’re “supposed” to pay for that happen around a traditional wedding. Things like rehearsals and rehearsal dinners, wedding party gifts, AN ENTIRE RECEPTION WITH FOOD AND DRINKS, etc.
You can start a new yearly tradition of exploring somewhere new! You could elope somewhere you’ve never been before, and then each year revisit that place OR plan a trip to somewhere brand new to the both of you.

As you can see, there are a TON of reasons that eloping without any guests might be exactly what you want. Sharing some of these reasons when you break the news to your loved ones might help them see it from your perspective and they might be more supportive than you’d expected.

Buuuuut that’s not always the case, as the tradition of a big wedding has importance and significance to different people for a variety of reasons. But again, that doesn’t make your choice to elope any less beautiful or perfect!

And because I’ve listed reasons you should elope alone, I also want to list some reasons why eloping alone might not be for you!

Reasons That Might Make you feel like you Can’t Elope Alone

You got frustrated thinking how you were going to tell everyone that you don’t want any guests, so you just invited everyone and put your happiness on the backburner
Friends or family guilted you into inviting them even though you were clear about wanting to elope alone
You don’t know how to elope (it’s most people’s first elopement!), which I can 100% help you to avoid by, you know, being your elopement photographer and sidekick

How to Tell Your Family You’re Eloping ALone

It might be a difficult conversation that you’re dreading or have been putting off, or it might be something they would not be surprised by at all. Regardless of where you fall in that range, you will have to tell them at some point. I’ve put together some tips to make it a little bit easier for you.

1. Choose the Right Time and Place:

Timing is everything, right? Pick a moment when everyone's chill and not in the middle of a heated debate about whose turn it is to do the dishes. Create a laid-back atmosphere to ease into the conversation. Face to face is going to be the best situation, but of course a video call could happen as well.

2. Be Honest and Authentic:

When you spill the tea, keep it real. Share your genuine reasons for choosing to elope – whether it's the intimacy, the personal connection, or simply avoiding the stress of a big event. Your honesty will set the tone for an open and understanding conversation.

3. Plan Your Message:

Before you dive into the convo, plan out what you want to say. Jot down key points, express your love and gratitude for your family, and assure them that this decision doesn't diminish your love for them. Having a game plan helps you stay on track and communicate effectively.

4. Use "I" Statements:

Frame your discussion using "I" statements to express your feelings and perspective. For example, say, "I feel that eloping aligns better with our vision of a perfect day" rather than "Eloping is the only way to do it." This helps avoid sounding accusatory and keeps the conversation focused on your personal choices.

5. Share the Vision:

Paint a picture of your elopement vision. Describe the intimate ceremony, the breathtaking backdrop, and the special moments you're excited to share. Help your family see the magic in your decision and understand the uniqueness of your celebration. Let them know you’ll share stories, photos, and videos from your elopement so they can feel included and relive the memories with you.

6. Assure Them It's Not About Them:

Reassure your family that your decision to elope is about your preferences and doesn't reflect on your relationship with them. Emphasize that their love and support mean the world to you, and this choice is simply a reflection of your personal style.

7. Offer to Include them in Other Ways:

Extend an olive branch by suggesting a celebration or get-together to share the joy and excitement. Whether it's a post-elopement party or a casual family gathering, it gives your loved ones a chance to be part of your happiness.

Need some ideas for how to include your family in your elopement when they’re not going to be present? I’ve got you:

How to Include Your Family in Your Elopement Day

8. Be Ready for Emotions:

Eloping might be exciting for you, but it might stir up various emotions for your family. Be prepared for a range of reactions, from surprise to disappointment. Allow them to express their feelings and reassure them that your love for them remains unchanged. Let them know you love them and hear out their responses without big reactions.

9. Give Them Time:

After dropping the elopement bombshell, give your family some time to process the news. Understand that their initial reactions might not be their final thoughts. Allow the conversation to evolve naturally, and be open to ongoing discussions. Some people might feel targeted or intentionally left out initially, but as they sit with it more and think about you two as a couple, they may come around to understand and support your decision.

In the end, it’s completely your choice who you want to have at your elopement, even if that’s nobody! I want you to feel empowered to make the decision with intentionality and not out of guilt or expectations ♥️